Learning to Cry

For some reason, I have always avoided crying. But in this season of life, the gates have opened. Grief comes when you least expect it. It overwhelms you until there's nothing left to do but to let it out.

After getting the call at college, I remember flying home. It was the longest two hour flight of my life. I sat between two middle aged ladies, my body tense, my eyes fixed at the ceiling of the plane. Every few minutes, tears would cluster, but I would discretely rub them away before they reached my chin. 

When I was dropped off outside my house, my parents stood there waiting for me. My eyes locked with theirs and suddenly my tears felt like weights. They pulled my body down. I sank into my moms arms. I cried for hours, no words, just salty water. 

For so long I avoided crying, but I realised that it's okay to cry. It’s okay to let go, to release the pain. Crying heals the soul. Tears make us vulnerable and honest with ourselves. They let our bodies speak when words cannot. 

Even in the worst times, I am thankful. Thankful that I can feel. Thankful that I can cry.